I feel like I’m about to get my heart broken again.
I just want to fix everything about my life, but there’s just no time.
epiicer: If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
aresnakesreal: as a general rule i never eat any food that is touted as “smart”
Every time I see one of those “Salt Life”, “Surf Life”, “Swamp Life”, etc stickers on a car, I think it says “Slut life”. Not in a negative way or anything, but that’s just what it always looks like at first.
You know you’re a true success when you manage to start choking on your own saliva.
How can anyone think these HTC One commercials are good? They’re promoting these horrible ideas of essentially drowning out reality. Like, oh, let’s go to a museum, and instead of enjoying the art and stuff, you can totally be browsing facebook! Or, if you like being antisocial and not talking to people, you can easily stare at your phone all day!
Do you ever get an idea for a poem or story, but think that it’s so cliche that someone has probably already written the exact work—if not a better version—and that, therefore, writing it yourself would be a waste of time?
foodtrucker: i hate cute couples unless they’re 50% me
alegbra: when you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning but then you smell your favorite breakfast cooking
that-kid-from-london: egberts: BATHTUBS ARE JUST REVERSE BOATS
sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: me huntin for the pussy SSTOP REBLOGGING THIS I’M A STRAIGHT 14 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL
partybarackisinthehousetonight: “haha yeah” [i awkwardly chuckle pretending i know what you just said]
subspacetsundere: having feelings that you know are dumb being upset at yourself for having feelings that you know are dumb
Maybe I should stop using so many unprofessional/inappropriate names when I’m testing my code. But that would be boring.